Domestic Violence/Weekly Update

Time for a post!

!!!Good Morning!!!

Listening to: A State of Trance  - # 588

Favorite Tracks: 

6:56 (02) Sunset Slave - Levitation

16:53 (05) Anushka De'sai - Far & Close (LTN Sunrise Mix)

1:26:25 (23) Chris Metcalfe - Watching Over Me (James Dymond Remix)

I love this ASOT episode, a very nice selection. Usually I have to forward through his sessions but, I love this one and listen to it straight through.

.

.

.

Finally finished my assignments for this week. I never thought there was such a huge contrast in workload between undergrad and grad school. This is why I have not had a chance to blog, and I have been DYING to. SO therapeutic for me!

Domestic Violence

I wanted to take the time to address something that should be taken quite seriously: relationships.

During my undergraduate studies, I had an overwhelming interest in positive psychology and research that addresses life satisfaction; specifically, romantic interpersonal relations. This includes relations that are based on love, marriage, sex, comfort, etc. I’ve always been intrigued by this…we’ll just call the “this” – Love. As I recall the different professions I took an interest in while growing up: divorce attorney, wedding planner, couples therapist, researcher…I always stuck to love. Even today! I work at a psychology lab at my alma mater where I assist on research examining the components that lead to a successful, happy, and monogamous relationship. Love is my vice in life and I thank God for that every day because it is the most beautiful emotion. I feel that one of the most important things in life is forming healthy and supportive relationships. Both partners should always make an effort to engage in communication, treat each other with respect, respect one another’s boundaries, share, celebrate, and encourage. Of course there is so much more that is left unsaid, but who can cover all the dos and don’ts of love?

Neruda - One of my favorites. 
Buy the book: LINK : Cien Sonetos De Amor/ 100 Love Sonnets

I wanted to take the time to address the type of romantic interpersonal relationship that hinders an individual’s overall well-being. Unhealthy relationships, particularly those that involve some sort of domestic abuse, are overwhelmingly common in our day and age. This is alarming considering cultural evolution has taken place in a majority of the other components of our lives. 

Beautiful!

What’s the mystery behind successful relationships?

Now, just putting this out there; you’ll probably notice I am biased and will focus on the female in an unhealthy relationship. Why? For starters, I am a female, I have only experienced abuse in relationships as a female (duh!), and based on my experience, women wont divulge the whole truth to their closest friends. Maybe this is to save face or protect the people they love from feeling their pain, but this can result in the bottling up of emotion that may play a significant role in harmful coping mechanisms. We all love to self medicate! Hopefully in hearing my experience, one woman can take it as a warning sign, reason to get out, or the means to saving a relationship. Maybe even a man will learn from it!

NOTE: Research has shown that men and women assault one another and strike the first blow at approximately equal rates. (Archer, J. (2000)) We’re all guilty, regardless of sex! Every nine seconds, a woman is assaulted or beaten in the U.S. If that is a statistic on physical abuse, can you imagine how we stand on verbal and emotional abuse which is not stigmatized to the same degree as physical?!

So, here it goes!

I will not mention any names or any time periods so as to protect identities: I’m not a ttoottall bitch! I can go on for hours about my negative experiences, but I want to just focus on one that is most consequential to my learning experience.

I was in a year long, on-and-off again, relationship with a boy (I emphasize boy) who was directly linked to my anxiety and poor mental health. While I had been exposed to unhealthy relationships before, the symptoms that I was experiencing in this specific relationship were unbearable. I, quite literally, lost my soul. I have a very feisty personality, and some men cannot handle a woman like me. I do not care what the reasoning behind anyone’s actions or words are, if I am hurt by something and I react, you should have thought before starting the whole issue. My reaction is your consequence…you are not a victim. I will say this: some men will do and say ANYTHING to falsely justify their actions and clear their conscience. I don’t buy it; I can spot malice from a mile away.

So, my relationship with this boy started out fine, as so many do. In hindsight, the warning signs were there. He belittled me for anything he did not approve or understand...and played with my insecurities. In addition: he was extremely possessive and overly jealous. A good story? I was taking a final exam for a class and we were allowed three hours to complete the exam. Anyone who has ever been in a class with me knows I will use ALL the time I am given. I was the last one in the room and got up to ask the professor a question, while walking back to my seat, I see my boyfriend (at the time) pacing back and forth outside the class room door. Later on, I was accused of “flirting” for an A. He even went further in his remarks as to insinuate I would cash in on my sexuality for a grade. Needless to say, I was disgusted…but, I let it go because, quite honestly, I did not care enough to fight when there was nothing I found worthy to fight for. If I looked in the direction of another man, it was 21 questions. When a man is insecure, HUGE turn off. It is not comparable to a woman’s insecurities. Sorry!

Another red flag? He controlled the way I dressed. YES! This started as he became more serious about me. I love experimenting with my look and enjoy style appropriate to different occasions. I never dressed in a way that I would lose the respect of people around me, but I figure he felt that I would attract unwanted attention...wrong.

NOTE: Let me make this perfectly clear to any male reading this blog: women know how to attract the attention of other men when they are with their significant others, but we also know how to NOT attract that attention. When I don’t want another man to make an effort, no man will(aside from the crazies). Trust me...a look or quick remark is one thing, but a persistent attempt is not one sided. That is the result of flirting on both ends. I love to see fights break out in clubs over such things...women are sneaky...boohoo. Of course, not all cases are like this...but, girls talk a big game and I hear their side of the story.

Jealous, possessive, rules...At this point, anyone would think, “Is this girl an idiot to not leave? Of course those are red flags…why would she not adhere to the animal reaction of fleeing from an acute stress?!?!” Maybe not in those exact words, but close enough. I know, total idiot over here…but getting comfortable and filling up emptiness can become toxic. I don’t know why I even acknowledged his “rules” but when you’re in a relationship, you don’t want to stir up problems that aren’t worth a fight. But, to be honest, I closed up entirely due to his jealousy towards anyone who diverted my attention from him, even one of his closest friends! So, I made it a point to avoid problems (in the beginning). He would say such negative things to me but, in return, I would say negative things to him. It was a tumultuous relationship that was slowly, but surely, overwhelming me.

My friends hated him, my family hated him, and I protected him against negative opinion. The turning point? He hit me. Flat out saying it in plain text: he hit me. And I STILL didn’t leave? I stayed through the emotional abuse –ok. I stayed through the verbal abuse – fine. But the physical abuse, long lasting, finally knocked me back into reality, no pun intended. I was speaking with my cousin about this, not too long ago; so many people will not leave an abusive relationship. What keeps them? We came to our own conclusion, having both experienced many types of abuse from our previous romantic partners; we stayed to tend to our wounds.

At the time that my abuse was occurring, I was not in school, I was going out a lot, and losing my mind in thoughts of past regret. My anxiety took the better part of me and I started experiencing serious symptoms that were hindering my overall well-being and health. I was in need of support. What sucks is that my support team was made up of those closest to me, and I avoided them to protect them from my misery. I was an individual that put my entirety into a relationship with a boy who cared for his own happiness and had nothing left to give myself. I didn’t need his attention – I needed my own. I had past experiences that continued to haunt me and drained me of my happiness almost on a daily basis. Misery sure as hell loves company and I unconsciously looked for more misery. This is where it came together for me: with every bit of abuse I experienced, I gave myself a period to care for myself and heal. It is all a very natural process. We even see this as reasoning for individuals who inflict pain on themselves as an emotional release. Care with the intent to heal is a very powerful reward! I would find time for myself in the period following the abuse and time for myself was scarce.

When did I become proactive about getting out? The last time he hit me. We went out for lunch and he had a bit too much to drink. He decided to get cute with his car and got into an accident, blacked out, and continued to ddrriivvee!!!! I was SO surprised considering I asked him if he was ok to drive, and he was very convincing with his response! After screaming/shouting for 20 minutes, he finally let me drive us home…did I mention I drove home with him pushing me around to the point that an off duty police officer that was in front of us stopped me to question if my safety was being threatened?! And guess what THIS dumdum did!??!! NOTHING. I knew what was going to happen the second we got back to the house, and I did not say one thing to protect myself. Instead, I protected him and told the officer we were fine.

To be brief, we got back to the house. I was hit, thrown into a glass table, and kicked. Between each time he touched my body, he would apologize and drunkenly proclaim his love - the second I would try to get away, he was back to it. Trust me, even though you think they love you, it is not love…they are attached to you. HUGE difference. I noticed that EVERY time the threat of me leaving became a reality, he became violent. Naturally, human beings are very uncomfortable with the idea of losing something we have made to be important in our lives…and if we lose that attachment, we react negatively.

So, where did that leave us? He passed out for the next 10 hours and woke up “not remembering” what had happened. I told him, he broke down apologizing, blah blah blah - bull shit. Every "I promise!" "I swear to God!" and "I swear on my Mother's head!" I heard, to never touch me again, was followed by another fight that led to abuse. I couldn’t even look at him, but I couldn’t go home in fear that my mother would see my face. I have a very strong mother, and if she sees that I am hurt in any way, she will stop at no end to get revenge.

“The most important thing is your face. The other end you just sit on.” - W.E.

During the time he was asleep, I met with my cousin who insisted I rethink the entire relationship. I knew I had to leave, but I knew that I could not have an easy break up with him around. I detached, almost instantaneously, and stayed … played along; I think if he ever read this, so much of my behavior from the last month of our “relationship” would make sense. When he finally left for his summer vacation, I waited for the FIRST thing he did wrong (4 days later) and broke up with him. And let me tell you, it was a hard-core break up. Did not pick up one phone call, did not answer one e-mail or text, and devoted myself to ME. We tried to be friends after a couple of months being apart, but I could never get over what he did to me, and found myself constantly hating him.  Quite literally, every time I spoke to him, it would result in my anger consuming my existence. If I have no respect for someone it is blatantly clear and I couldn’t get over my memories. Most women wont have a chance like this… to get up and leave the way I did, some never have a moment away from their partner. FIND the moment. Do anything and everything to find that moment to reassess and if you feel, for an instant, that you need to get out; do it for yourself! Don’t ever second guess the feeling of flight from our “fight or flight” reaction.

I have been asked many times why I did not leave earlier, some even brought my intelligence up to support their confusion as to why I stayed. I have NO answer…it simply is that I got caught up in the roller coaster of needing to fill a void and accepting pain as punishment for the dissatisfaction I felt towards myself. Those that stay in these types of relationships are wounded and often have very serious issues with trust, attachment style, and self worth. And these issues are likely to be present in both persons involved in the abusive relationship.

My experience is nowhere near other’s experiences with abuse. But I talk about it because it is something that needs to be heard. We do not choose to stay in these relationships; we create an attachment to something we are getting from staying. For me, my attachment came in the form off filling a void, an inevitable punishment, and a time for personal healing. Sick. But, it happens all the time.

Even hearing an opinion on why I stayed, especially from someone who has not experienced the type of abuse I have, is very offensive. No one can ever offer perfect advice on abuse because we all have different situations, coping mechanisms, mental health, limits, etc. But! I find myself to be no less intelligent or logical than I was before I went through abuse in a relationship. Circumstances change and therefor we adapt, whether it is the “correct” adaptation, or not, is subjective to the individual. Victims of physical abuse are NOT WEAK…trust me, it doesn’t take a lot to hurt me, but the walls I have up are infrangible.

Or, (personal experience) when someone questions why an individual experiencing abuse stays and then proceeds to insult the explanation, WHATEVER it may be, you belittle the person who is already feeling small and close them up even more.  Offering a shoulder to lean on and an ear that will listen is enough to help, thank you very much. (Oops! Got a bit heated there…I have had someone close to me say that they had nothing against my ex, even after finding out what he did to me. I’ll just let karma deal with that one. I believe in karma and have felt her wrath…as a result, I keep her on my side.)

I cannot emphasize the importance of support to those who are experiencing any type of abuse. Even if it is not considered to be abuse, confiding in someone close to you about any discomfort you feel is crucial to maintaining a healthy mental state. Bottling up negative emotions is the worst thing you can do. You will notice that your overall outlook on life will progressively become negative and your relationships with those around you will begin to dwindle. If you don’t want to talk to anyone you know? THERAPISTS! 
It is ok to have a therapist! 
Therapists have therapists! 
I have a therapist!

If you can’t afford a therapist? HOTLINES! Here are just a few I have heard of. There are SO many available with a simple Google search.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 
1−800−799−SAFE(7233)
TTY 1−800−787−3224. 
http://www.thehotline.org

Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women: 
1-888-7HELPLINE

(1-888-743-5754) 
http://dahmw.org

Abuse Victim Hotline 
1.877.4.It.To.Stop (1-877-448-8678)
http://www.avhotline.org

National Sexual Assault Hotline 
1.800.656.HOPE 
http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline

Whether you are experiencing abuse from or imposing abuse onto someone you claim to care for, change! Try your very best to change. I know I have. And I know my ex-boyfriend has. I may have experienced an extreme form of abuse, but I too have abused - I have become angry and verbally accosted someone I should care for, even smacking them! (I’ve seen it in movies, I think I’m cool..#loser). No matter what the circumstances are, being in an abusive relationship is not something anyone should accept. Change for the better or get the fuck out. Plain and simple. 

No matter which you choose, you need to forgive and try to forget…it will truly make you a better person once you get past that anger. I know with my experience, the anger I felt was devastating for me and everyone around me. Anxiety became a favorite in my vocabulary and I no longer found joy in my day-to-day activities. I became very hot headed and drowned myself in my studies trying to find some way to make progress in my life to feel good about who I was again. I was putting too much work into other people and not enough in me.

Of course, I need to thank three people who helped me make one of the most important decisions of my life…You three will always be in my heart. 

Thank you Mama, who was there through all my ups and downs, back and forths, and stupid decisions.

Thank you to my cousin, Alexia, who was there as a shoulder to lean on and offered me a good kick in the bum when I started to give in to my weakness in emotion.

Thank you to my best friend, Buzai (her nickname!) for reminding me how to laugh and helping me feel happiness again.

.

.

.

In Conclusion!

Get people aware of domestic violence! It plagues so many lives and is not something to judge or nit pick at…it is an issue that needs to be treated. I always think of it this way; if for an instant you begin to question someone’s reasoning for staying in an abusive relationship – put your mother or father in their position with the same mind set. Personalize that scenario and decrease the psychological distance…see how you feel.

************************************************************************************************

On to lighter subjects…Nothing much to talk about from this week! I had four papers due in my classes and nearly broke my back with all the work I had to do. I started reading from last friday and finished up my work today. HOPEFULLY, everything went well. However, I always find myself starting my papers one hour before class and scrambling to produce 7-10 pages in time. I don't know why! No matter how much I prepare, everything always ends up being last minute.

Post Traumatic Stress!

I wrote a reaction paper to my professors book; Pivot Point. If your organization is going through a change that is resulting in unrest...READ THIS BOOK! There has been a 68% failure rate in organizational change over the past 15 years (constant) (Grady & Grady, 2012). My professor, Victoria Grady, takes on a psychological approach to solving the mystery of the failure rate by emphasizing the need to account for individual behavior within the organization. It's a quick read and is split into two sections that appeals to any type of reader... Part one is written like a novel, Part two is written like a text book. Love!

LINK : Barnes&Noble: The Pivot Point

Firday Night: Reading/Note Taking.
Meanwhile, Rezamou watched 24 hours of "24".

.

.

.

A Night Out

I had been dying to wear this BEAUTIFUL Catherine Malandrino - Pointelle Cowl Neck Knit Dress that had been sitting in my closet forever. Considering it is more of a warm weather dress, I would usually stuff it in the back of my closet thinking...when my legs are toned up again - I'll wear it. The day came...In the winter...who cares? Innauguration weekend!

It looked like HELL on my body. I tried it before I bought it but my body has changed since then, and to be honest, I don't think I was being truthful about the way it looked on me! It just fit WRONG! I didn't get a chance to take a picture of it on me ... I should have to emphasize the awkwardness.

The whole day I had been feeling really gross... I finally used the slow juicer and made carrot juice and apple juice. Even though it was good and I felt fit, I felt very poofy after. I swelled up like a balloon and was nauseous the whole day. So, that didnt help the case of that dress...hehe. Whenever this happens to you ladies, COVER UP! Because chances are, the way you're seeing yourself, is NOT as bad as you actually look. I'm sorry, but with my experience in the feeling bloated department, you look poofier than you think!

Instead, I wore this beautiful Twelfth Street By Cynthia Vincent dress. Cream with gold sequins...to DIE for. And it wasn't tight anywhere, just nice and short to show off my legs. 

Only down side? The sequins fell off the dress as I was walking. By the end of the night, the dress looked like a used tissue. I'm in search of beads that match the ones already on the dress so I can repair! iLoved it.

I don't know why, but my hair was tremendously cooperative that night! What I thought would be a night of me feeling like poo, turned out to be rather nice.

HAHA! 

My purse was from Ralph Lauren. I bought them at an outlet mall near Ocean City, MD. Every year, around my birthday, my mother and I jump into the Mini and drive to Ocean City and back. It's too cold to swim, (the water is FILTHY anyway...en oh!) and there is NO ONE there. But I LOVE doing it with her. I love driving through the rural parts of MD and VA and enjoying the deserted beach. We've been doing this for the past 12 years and will continue. I think I've told her my deepest secrets during our time in the car...the best time. So, I found my favorite purse on one of our trips. 

I admit, I am the type who buys multiples of things I like. But they were 60% off!

.

.

.

Weather
I am quickly going to address the chaotic weather we have been experiencing here in the DMV. Literally, I don't know how to dress! One minute it's below freezing, the next its Spring-like weather! We experienced flooding yesterday evening with thunderstorms and severe wind...today we're expecting snow. Two days ago it was 70 degrees!!! Help!

T-Storm - Snow. 70 - 25

Proof!

.

.

.

Skin

My skin has been feeling disgusting lately from the stress of school work. Whenever I study, I am constantly picking at my face. Because of the shift in weather, I have had very dry skin which makes it feel even more clogged up. So, today I washed my face and covered it in honey. Yes, honey. Honey's antibacterial properties has dated its use in skin care to the time of Cleopatra. Plus, without any harsh chemical, I love using this as a way to sooth my skin during this type of weather. Literally, after I applied it, I saw it seeping into my pores. 

I left the honey mask on for about 2 hours. What's great is you dont get that dry, can't move your face, feeling after a while of it being on your skin. Your body heat keeps the viscosity of the honey relatively comfortable. Your pore size  will minimize, skin will be softer, and dry skin will definitely be treated.

Ok, so it looks funny - lol. But! I promise it's worth it

.

.

.

What have I been eating?

I have hardly found the time to eat with my schedule. I'm in class during dinner time and sleep in because I do my best work during the night (vampire). I've been crazy addicted to fruits, particularly apples, this past week. I was sick one morning and Reza gave me an apple to eat, I don't know what this apple was, but I have continuously been eating them since.

.

.

.

Hurom Slow Juicer

For Christmas, I bought Rezamou a juicer!( I call him Rezamou as a nickname...apparently, "mou" means "my" in Greek. So, this whole time I'd been calling him "My Reza" without knowing it. Aw!) He likes to eat healthy and I thought this would be of some use to him. We first bought the white model, but decided to switch it to black - So much prettier. Literally, there are NO stores that carry this slow juicer in black, you have to order it online. Crate and Barrel had a 50 dollars shipping and handling fee...as though they were sending me a china set from Shanghai - I was in SHOCK! 

I found the best place to buy this juicer from - Sur La Table. It was one of Hurom's authorized sellers and they have an AMAZING one year return policy on all plug-in appliances. And the best part?!?! FREE SHIPPING! I was not about to spend $50.00 on shipping&handling. Sorry Crate&Barrel.

LINK : Sur la Table - Hurom Black Slow Juicer

There are two kinds of juicers: slow juicers and fast (centrifugal) juicers. I chose the slow juicer because I read it had more nutritional benefits. I'm sure theres much more reasoning.

LINK : Slow Juicer vs. Centrifugal (fast) Juicer

My favorite drink? I don't really have one yet. I love apple juice whenever my best friend gets it. I drink a bit of hers here and there because I'm a pain like that. I've only tried juicing green apples and they are SO pungent...It is too much. The acidity gives you a stomach ache instantaneously. I think red apples will do better. We've tried carrot+apple+pineapple+ginger. It is absolutely delicious.

Downside? 

It is SUCH a hassle to clean. I am telling you, I spend about 20 minutes after every use...cleaning the life out of this juicer. The idea of mushed up fruits/vegetables getting stuck in the nooks and crannies of the device...and just sitting there..OOF! Makes me ccrriinnggee. It is very awkward to clean because the angles at which the entrances to the machine are set make it very difficult to reach. Reza seems to have an easier time with it than I do. 

.

.
.

Talapia

In my second post of the month, I mentioned being curious about Talapia because of its mild fishy flavor. I haven't been eating much meat lately...I get cravings for steak at night but other than that...Nothing.

Note: I don't like to use much salt in my food...in fact I hardly use any. This is probably why I wake up at random moments in the night looking for salt. In those cases, I'll have a teaspoon of red wine vinegar. I dress my food lemon, olive oil, paprika, cayenne, turmeric (recent), black pepper, or oregano.

Talapia...Super easy to make (even I did it...lol.)

1. Broiler! (500˚F).

2. I bought three pieces and thoroughly washed them under cold water for about 10 minutes. I am obsessive with washing now that I'm trying to make my own food.

3. Once washed, I pat dried the pieces and cover one side with freshly squeezed lemon juice, turmeric, and smoked cayenne pepper.

4. I placed the pieces, seasoned side down, on a pan lined with lightly oiled tin foil.

5. I then seasoned the bare side of the fillet in the same way - Lemon, turmeric, and smoked cayenne pepper. I also drizzled some olive oil over the pieces.

6. Once the oven is ready, I placed the pan on the rack closest to the heat.

7. Cooking takes about 15 minutes. I took them out at around 17 minutes when the edges were nice and crispy...I like things almost burned for some reason.

8. In the meantime, my mother prepared a grilled vegetable salad. She makes this for me all the time.

Pretty Pretty! Thank you, Mama!

9. Once the talapia is finished, serve with lemon! 

Love the golden color: All thanks to the the cayenne pepper and turmeric.

.

.

.

Turmeric

I never really heard of turmeric until Reza told me of it. Then again, I never really knew of anything that had to do with a kitchen until Reza...I can't have him understand a kitchen more than me. So...of course, I'm trying to one up him. Still haven't done so.

Read this! LINK : 20 Health Benefits of Turmeric 

Among them...

"May prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease by removing amyloyd plague buildup in the brain." = SOLD! 

Anything that promotes brain health...I will ingest and inject.

.

.

.

Home Made Organic Yogurt

My darling mother made me home made yogurt. Obviously, the milk and tablespoon of yogurt used to make the end result was purchased from the store...an organic. I always remember her doing this when I was a child, and my grandmother insisting I stay away from the pile of blankets covering the bowl of forming yogurt...hehe.

I will definitely ask her how she made it for the next post...it is just too good to not share!

.

.

.

Dessert

Over the past few months, I have developed an enormous sweet tooth. I also love to bake now that I've picked it up a bit. I haven't been trying any recipes the past 2 weeks because of school.

However, Reza makes the most simple but DELICIOUS dessert for me every sunday. iDie for his version of French Toast. He doesn't use egg! I never thought of this approach to the classic brunch dish...but, oh my God, oh my God...so good.

From what I can recall, you place a piece of white bread with butter onto a hot skillet. Let it get nice and golden. Pour maple syrup over it...Serve it with ice cream, blackberries, and creme. I wont even eat it with ice cream...give me the whole carton of cream with a whole loaf of bread prepared in that way = iDie happy.

.

.

.

Cutsies

I don't need a house, I will live in this.
Please and Thank you.

.
.
.


SO, I saw this Tiffany&Co. colored tennis shoe on Pinterest a few days ago and immediately fell in love! The color is called "Tropical Twist" on Nike's website and the shoe is Nike Free 3.0 V4. Almost an identical match to the Tiffany's turquoise. I found a bunch of them like the one below on eBay but when I went on the Nike website to design my own, I couldn't select Tropical Twist as the color on the upper mesh.

The model that I could apply "Tropical Twist" as the dominant color to was this Nike Air Max. About $100 more. Cute, but I want the ones above. Sigh. If anyone figures out how to make the Nike Free 3.0 V4 Model in "Tropical Twist," let me know!

Cute

.

.

.

Mika

.

.

.

Thanks for visiting! It was a super long post...I need to figure out how to make the content more straightforward. Let me know if there is anything you would like me to address! Tips? Advice?

Have an amazing and safe weekend. Be thankful for what you have, I think we can all understand, from recent events, that our lives can change in an instant.

Stay positive, be happy.

xx - SVC.

.

.

.

References 

Grady, V. M., & Grady, J. D. (2012). The pivot point: Success in organization change.

            New York, NY: Morgan James Publishing.