Silva Valentina's Blog: UPDATE : Domestic Abuse

UPDATE

So, I'm having a chat with someone very dear to me... and we are discussing the content from my previous post (LINK : Domestic Violence/Weekly Update). She happened to remember a VERY funny, but VERY serious, incident that I have experienced which relates to the topic.

Another warning sign to an busive relationship? Maliciously invading your privacy. Anyone in my position knows, if badgered/manipulated enough - we give in for peace.

Do not give your personal information to ANYONE.

They might use it against you one day...or maybe that just happens to me? Now, if it is a spouse or fiancé...I would give them my private information. As far as I'm concerned, there is a level of trust that goes deeper than that of a relationship.

My ex had my passwords to all my accounts and would regularly check to monitor my communication with other people. I had nothing to hide! But it became excessive...even my blackberry became an issue! He went so far as to read a conversation with my best friend that were private, as well as delete pictures and videos from past times - GOOD past times. Trying to find something to upset yourself over is NEVER a good idea, especially when there is nothing there. Abuse can be in the form of restricting your significant other's communication and/or activities via technology! So long as trust is not compromised...what is the point?!

The funny part? When you catch them.

Here is an e-mail that I received about a month (or two?) after the breakup.

As you can see, he attempted to get into my account. How did I know? Who do I know in California? - No one. And he happened to be in that exact location on holiday when I received the notice (I was supposed to be on that same trip.) So, I forwarded him the e-mail.

I believe the term they used for him is "hijacker"? Thats perfectly correct. I would not feel AS uncomfortable if the "hijacker" is my current boyfriend, but if you're in my past...then this is just inappropriate. An extreme example with proof after I was out of the relationship...but, definitely a warning sign should you experience this in your relationship. It's all about control.

Now! of course...you can have such a circumstance with no abuse. But, the second you feel uncomfortable about it...acknowledge that discomfort for yourself!

So, again...please keep your business private. Is it any wonder why so many relationships have failed at the hands of technology. Enough with the snooping through one another's phone, e-mail, Facebook accounts, etc. Build TRUST!

Please!
Thank you.

Back to studying...wish me LUCK!